Because a lot of my other modules (particularly film) have been particularly busy recently it’s meant I’ve been able to do less work on my script outline. I feel like I’ve nearly cracked it though, as the central premise and primary story beats are all in place and clear, the majority of the work I need to do now is just format-based, as I continuously struggle with cutting down sequences to their base elements, as within a comedy such as this it makes the film itself seem bland and unappealing in places.

With this in mind still I continued to develop Michael and Jacob, not out of necessity but out of curiosity to see what I could stretch with their characters, and continued to come up with extra scenarios for the two within the film’s premise that probably wouldn’t be a part of the outline document. For example, the character of Sue, Michael’s elderly mother took inspiration from my own mother. As the two protagonists fear for their lives they become convinced that the mafia have control over the communications system, and as Jacob spends all of his time watching films and obsessing over them instead of working he reveals that neither of them can be on the phone for over 30 seconds or else their location will be able to be tracked. With this in mind Michael then attempts to phone his mum and ensure her safety whilst warning her of what’s happening, though as soon as the phone is answered she’s immediately swarming him with affection and tales from her own life, not letting him get a word in edgeways before he’s forced to slam the phone down on her as his thirty seconds is up.

I also began to think on both character’s world views. For example, Jacob consistently references the fact that he’s depressed when it’s made clear that he’s just lazy, though once the truth comes out that his ex-girlfriend has moved on I think some of his actual depression may come into light. It’s why he is lazy. He doesn’t see any point in getting out of the house or getting a job anymore and Michael’s just seen it as pure laziness when really it’s something else – a point of view that hopefully the audience will share too. Michael on the other hand is almost in the same boat, he sees his day-to-day life as pointless though his futility comes from a sense of staleness in his surroundings. He feels trapped where he lives and is constantly too scared to go out and look for excitement (something the film brings him and this shows in his happiness at life in prison for the film’s open conclusion).

Along with punishing both characters in the film’s conclusion, I’m going to keep it open-ended by having them being contacted by the Mulbys within the prison they’re locked up in, a final dark note to taunt both of them with, similar to the way in which the original Toy Story (Lasseter, 1995) ends, where Andy is shown to get a pet puppy, much to Woody and Buzz’s terror.

 

Bibliography:

Lasseter, J. (dir.) (1995) Toy Story [DVD]. Buena Vista Pictures Distribution.

After receiving some feedback on my outline, I began to take notes on what I would need to change, for instance, fortunately the use of an apple corer as a murder weapon went down a treat, but sadly Jacob’s murder of Anton Mulby left a lot to be desired and was seen as a bit of a cop out. A feeling I have to agree with, as I struggled with how my other protagonist would go about dispatching the other member of the mafia. One of the other comments I received involved the inclusion of Ruffles the dog, and whether or not his character could be pulled in to tell a potentially larger part of the story. I decided to try and kill two birds with one stone, as Ruffles is already brought back to the house along with the Mulbys in the third act, so of course he would have a part to play in the final brawl. It would also give me a chance to flesh out the relationship between Jacob and the canine, as I imagine that the two tend to not get along to the point where I began to think about Ruffles playing a part in Anton’s murder and actually saving Jacob, strengthening their relationship (or not, as Jacob’s stubbornness means it might only make his distaste for the creature grow).

The only problem with this new resolution is that within the context of the script outline it still seems a little bit tacked on. I have a vivid idea of how the scene is going to play out onscreen in my head as, along with the rest of the final fight, it’s going to be ‘awkwardly-violent’ (Nerdwriter1, 2016) as both men are continuously struggling at the top of a staircase, struggling to overpower each other. There’s small snippets of Jacob trying to bite any piece of Anton his mouth can reach, to which Anton continuously becomes more and more confused by (“What the fuck are you, some kind of vampire?”) as the threat of the fall looms over them. This threat will of course be heightened by the continued shrieking bark of Ruffles who watches the fight. Then, Jacob gets a small release when Anton moves ever closer to the edge of the first step, but he himself loses his footing, in which case the comic relief in the form of Ruffles jumps in and applies enough pressure just to tip Anton over the edge, breaking his neck on the way down as Ruffles stares at Jacob pleasingly (“…I still hate you”).

It’s one of the problems with making script outlines without actually fully developing the script itself, as I find myself wanting to place so much of these small moments into the document when in reality, a lot of it doesn’t even remotely affect the plot.

 

Bibliography:

Nerdwriter1 (2016) Movie Violence Done Right . Available from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GKiQs1dE0Tc [accessed 28/02/17].